


Hidden affairs

by FeistyAlbatross



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-06 10:12:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15192578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeistyAlbatross/pseuds/FeistyAlbatross
Summary: Ed comes back from automail tune-up bruised. He shrugs  it off, saying it's nothing. Roy has a talk with Winry while she's still in town, at her hotel. Talk being code for scary low threatening voice about treating Edward like a valued human being.





	1. 1

Roy flips the page in his book and settles more comfortably in his favorite armchair, relaxing in the home that he and Edward share. Having left work at a reasonable time for the day- fuhrership has it's advantages, he's reading one of his guilty pleasure books - a smutty romance novel. He hears the front door open and then shut softly. None of the normal sounds of a person entering a house follow after. Roy frowns, setting the book face down on the arm rest as he reaches for his gloves. The only person who is expected is Ed. And Ed doesn't enter like that. Ed is loud and irreverent and always calls out a greeting. 

He gets up and moves quietly down the hall towards the front door, gloves on, fingers at the ready.

But there is no intruder waiting in the foyer. There is, however, Ed. With one hand held to his side, the other on the wall, and leaning his head against said wall like it's the only thing keeping him vertical. A grimace shows on what little of his face Roy can see.

Roy moves quickly to his side, tugging off the gloves and shoving them into the pocket of his lounge pants. "Edward. What's wrong? What happened?" He asks, voice fast and worried, as he puts his hands on Edward's shoulders, turning him gently, encouraging Ed to face him.

He takes a sharp breath as he sees Ed's face - a gash running along his right temple and a goose egg forming on his forehead. "Edward," he soothes, moving to brush a hand over the uninjured part of the other's forehead, to move those unruly bangs. 

Ed just ducks his head away. "S-nothing," he mumbles as he tries to get around Roy. "Why aren't you at the office? Hawkeye sick?"

Roy let's him pass and follows him down the hall and to their bedroom. Ed throws an annoyed glare back at him before pointedly closing the bathroom door in Roy's face.

Roy sighs and tries the handle. Locked. Which would post more of a problem if Roy wasn't an alchemist. Regardless of the fact that he could easily gain entry into the bathroom, he doesn't transmute the door open. Instead, he just slides down, putting his back against the door. "Ed?" He calls. "Ed, are you ok?"  
No response, save for the shower being turned on. He'll have to wait. 

It had been some time since Ed came home battered and bruised. It had been even longer since he'd come back with injuries and refused to talk about it. Not since they'd gotten together. Not for years. Roy frowned, his heart heavy with worry for his lover. Roy waits against the door, biting his lip in an attempt to quell his anxiety as he waits for Ed to finish his shower and open the door.

The shower ends after what was, in Roy's opinion, an exceedingly long time. He hears Ed throw open the shower curtain, followed by the tap of his automail on the tiled floor. After a few moments Ed opens the door, a patronizing look crossing his face as he glances down at Roy, who is sitting cross-legged, head tipped back to see Ed. 

"Really, Mustang?" Ed sounding slightly exasperated and looking towards the ceiling, "You couldn't just let me be? I'm fine." 

Roy stands up and faces Ed, who is still in the doorway, hair dripping and wearing nothing but one of their towels wrapped around his hips. "Ed," he starts, voice gentle and comforting. The voice that usually gets Ed to listen. "Edward, love, you're really worrying me. You come home with a head wound and it looks like you're going to have a nasty bruise on your ribs," he nods to Ed's side, where there is indeed the beginnings of a dark splotch forming, "and you won't talk to me. You'll barely look at me." He inclined his head to try and get into Ed's sightline, which was, admittedly, looking anywhere but at Roy. "What happened between leaving to meet Winry at her hotel for a tune-up and now?" He paused "Is Winry ok?"

Ed scowled and shoved past Roy, moving to the dresser and agressively pulling out clothing to wear. "Fucking nothing happened, ok? Stop. Asking." He spat out, tugging his boxers on over his damp skin. 

"It doesn't look like nothing."

Ed sighs, holding his pants in one hand. "Please, Roy. I don't want to get into this. Winry's the same as she always is." He winces slightly to himself at the admission. "Just-just leave it. I'm not gonna talk about it."

Alarm bells were going off in Roy's head. What he'd said about Winry didn't sit right. Furthermore, Ed had never outright refused to talk to him. It might take a bit of coddling, he might have to prove to Ed once again that he's listening, that what Ed has to say is important, but he's never gotten a reaction like this. 

He watched Ed finish getting dressed, taking note of his careful movements due to his pain. 

"Come on," Roy prodded, leaving no room for argument. "You need to sit down and get some ice on your head. And I'm not entirely convinced that you don't have a concussion."

Ed conceded to follow him to their living room and let himself be guided onto the couch. Roy tucked a pillow behind his back and pulled a light throw blanket over his legs. He didn't miss the fact that Ed watched him somewhat warily. 

"I'll make you some tea and bring back a snack." And with a brush of a kiss on the crown of Edward's head he left the room. 

Roy prepared the tea with practiced ease and grabbed a box of cookies along with the ice, all the while worrying about his younger lover. 

Ed hadn't moved in the time he was gone. He was still sitting on the couch, legs stretched across the cushions, with a faraway look in his eyes. Roy sat the tray down on the coffee table and handed Ed the ice pack. Ed curled his legs up, allowing space for Roy to sit next to him. Roy sipped his tea, watching Ed and biding his time. He'd brought food. It was only a matter of time before Ed took interest. The amount of time Ed took to devour any food available to him was a fairly good barometer into his overall well being.

Ed held the ice to his head but made no other movements, preferring to continue his best interpretation of an inanimate object.

After several minutes he set the ice down on the floor and reached for his mug of tea and then the cookies. Pulling his legs up to his chest, Ed balanced the mug between his knees so he could open the box and dig in. 

Roy left him alone until the tea and cookies were demolished. He then set down his own mug and turned towards Ed, hands folded in his lap and a look Ed couldn't quite place on his face.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, and you don't have to tell me the details if you don't want to, but I can't just let this go. You understand that, right?"

"Not really" Ed muttered into his knees.

Roy began with a thoughtful hum. "So if I came home from what was, by all accounts, a normal day and was beat up and bleeding and refusing to talk about how I got that way you would be completely comfortable with letting it go? Not concerned about what happened to me? Not worried over my safety?"

"That's not fair" Ed said softly.

"Edward, I am begging you. I'm getting more and more scared about what's happened and, fair or not, you've got to tell me what's going on."

Ed looked over at him then. Roy looked earnest and fierce in his love, hands clenched together in his anxiety.

"If I tell you, if I talk about it this once, will you never fucking talk about it or bring it up again?"

"Whatever you want" came Roy's quick answer

Ed sighed, bunching the blanket between his fingers and sat up, hunching over holding his head in his hands. Another sigh. A glance at Roy, who was a ball of worry and anxiety. That was not helping.

"Winry and I got into it. I guess she won."

Roy's face fell. Hearing the words come from Ed's mouth was breaking his heart. 

"Well, I mean," Ed pulled at his hair in frustration. He wanted to be just about anywhere else, doing just about anything but talking about this. Specifically, talking about this with Roy.  
Roy, who seems to love him despite all his fuck-ups.  
Roy, who has always been better to him than he could ever hope for.  
Roy, who was somehow still under the incorrect impression that Ed was actually worth all the trouble.  
Roy, who would stop at nothing to protect those he cares about.

"I guess she got into it. I thought everything was fine before she kinda exploded." He fidgeted, waiting for Roy's reaction.

"This has happened before." Roy replies, careful to keep his tone even and calm. 

"Yeah, sorta." Ed mumbles.

"Oh, Ed. I had no idea it was like that between you two. That it was that bad. I knew she was...aggressive at times with you but I never thought" he trailed off. 

Roy is exercising restraint to not touch him without permission, to not wrap Ed in his arms, fighting the urge to try and fix this. Because this is not what Ed needs right now. He needs to let out his secret. 

"Can I?" Roy said, holding one arm open, knowing that Ed feels safe and loved with Roy's arm around him.

Ed gives a small smile that doesn't reach his eyes and settles against Roy's side, resting his uninjured side of his head against Roy's shoulder, allowing Roy's arm to hold him close. If Roy wouldn't drop it, at least he wouldn't have to see the man's face while they talked. And in all honesty, he knew they'd be having this conversation eventually. 

"...Does Al know?" Roy asked

Ed shifted against him, working on his response. "It hadnt, hadn't gone this far before. She throws things and yells, yeah. She's got a temper. But I mean, I guess I do too. I yell right back. It's just never gotten this bad. I've never been scared of her befo-." He stopped at that, stiffening, clearly not meaning to have shared so much.

Roy hugs him closer and noses his hair. "I'm so sorry, Ed."

"What are you sorry for?" Ed says somewhat incredulously.

"That I didn't notice. That you got hurt. That this has been going on for years and I had no idea."

"It's fine. I'm fine. Why are you still worrying" Ed says dismissively

"Because I love you, you brat." Roy kisses the top of Ed's head. "And because you don't deserve to be mistreated."

"M' not being mistreated." Ed grumbles

"Your head wound and bruised stomach say differently" Roy says pointedly

"Whatever. I can take it." Ed says petulantly, clearly not comfortable with this conversation.

"You can, but you shouldn't have to, ok love? No one should be hitting you, or throwing things at you, or whatever the mechanism of injury. You don't deserve that."

Ed shrugs, as well as anyone could shrug while cuddling up to their lover on a sofa.

"Are we done?" 

"No. God, Ed, this is serious. Does she do this to anyone else that you know of? Pinako? Al?"

That got a reaction. Ed sits up, on the edge of the couch and faces Roy, eyes filled with fiery emotion.

"NO. I'd never let Al or Granny get hurt. Do you really think that I'd stand for Al getting hurt?" 

Roy raised an eyebrow. "But you'll let yourself be hurt?" It wasn't a question.

Ed flopped back onto the couch, slumping in on himself with a scowl on his face.

"Ed, sweetheart, you warrant just as much safety and security as anyone else. If you wouldn't let it happen to Alphonse, then it probably shouldn't be happening to you."

Ed looks over at Roy. Roy continues, his voice rough with emotion, taking Ed's silence as permission to keep talking. "You are so very precious to me and it breaks my heart that you don't value yourself as highly."

"You're crying." Ed said, slightly astonished, slightly accusatory.

Roy blinks and wipes at an eye. He is indeed teary eyed. "I am not 'crying'. I may have gotten a little misty eyed, which is to be expected. Come here." He opens his arms and Ed moves into them, snuggling into Roy's chest. "I love you, Edward. And I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Love you too" came the muffled response. "Don't tell Al, ok?"

"I won't tell him. Although he might have some questions when he sees your face" 

Ed sighs.

"Do you want to keep seeing Winry as your mechanic?"

"Yeah," Ed said seriously after a moment of thought. "I do. Is that stupid?"

Roy places a kiss on top of Ed's head. "Its not stupid. It's completely your choice, whatever you feel comfortable with." Another kiss to the crown of Ed's head. "Will let me accompany you the next time?"

Ed nestles in further, pulling his legs up and into Roy's lap. "Yeah. You can come."

Roy breathed out audibly. "Thank you."

They sit on the couch, Ed nestled into Roy's chest and Roy gently stroking his hair until Ed falls asleep. Roy wiggles out from under him slowly, careful not to wake his lover. He then leaves a note on the coffee table and slips out the door.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honored that so many people have read the fic so far! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Here's part 2, one more to come.

Roy closes the front door softly as he leaves the house. He's sure he wouldn't get Ed's blessing to go confront Winry, but this has to stop. Ed has been alternately hiding and discounting the fact that Winry is, much as Ed hates the term, abusing him. He hopes that Ed will forgive him for stepping in like this.

Roy pulls his greatcoat around him, mind swirling with thoughts as he walks to the hotel Winry is staying in. Thank God she isn't staying under their roof. The walk to the hotel serves well to calm his more violent urges.

After charming the woman at the front desk into giving him Winry's room number, Roy soon finds himself at her door. He takes a deep breath to steel himself, takes off his ignition gloves as a precaution against his temper, and raps sharply on the door.

"Oh, General Mustang," Winry says in surprise as she opens the door fully. "I didn't expect you. Is Ed alright?"

Roy allows himself a brief glare at her before schooling his features once again into his trademark mask, devoid of emotions.

"I expect that you already know how Ed is doing."

Winry had the good grace to look embarrassed before covering it up by waving her hand nonchalantly as if to dispel her slip up.

"May I come in," Roy stated, rather than asked.

Winry stepped aside and allowed him into her rooms.

Making sure the door had shut, Roy began without preamble. "I think you know why I'm here, Miss Rockbell. I know what happened. And Ed deserves better. He doesn't think he is worthy of being treated well. And it breaks my heart. Edward deserves more than that. He deserves the best life has to offer. So you cannot treat him like that. You cannot cement his opinion that he isn't to be valued, that he deserves to be hit, threatened, abused."

Winry looks shocked. "Are you saying I'm abusing Ed? Can you see how ridiculous that is? I think we both know that he can stand up for and defend himself. He's my friend, like a brother. How dare you accuse me of hurting him!" She ends, stomping her foot, arms at her sides, hands in tight fists.

"Winry," Roy continued, eyes narrowed, voice low, and forcing it to sound calm, even though he'd much rather scream at her, forbid her to set eyes on Ed again, and leave by way of a slammed door. But that's not helpful, not his place, and not the best way to manage this scenario. "He left the house without injuries, came here to see you for maintenance, did not make any other stops, and returned sporting a big knot and gash on his forehead and one hell of a bruise on his side. He's not talking about where they came from. Why don't you tell me how he got those?"

Winry stilled, face paling. "I-I..." She stammered. Roy waited, crossing his arms in front of him, trying to conceal the shaking caused by his ire. "I don't know! I thought he'd catch the wrench, and I dropped the toolbox on the couch he was laying on. I didn't think I'd actually hurt him" She said quickly, ending softly and not meeting Roy's eyes.

"I see." Roy said unconvincingly, then uncrossed his arms and sighed, running a hand through his thick dark hair. "Let's cut the bullshit, shall we? We both know what happened. You threw a wrench at him, making contact with his head. You caused that bruise on his side, and I think we both know that he doesn't bruise easily. These were not accidents. Will you cop to that?"

Winry made a half nod with her head and started to speak

Roy continued on, not letting her talk. "Now that we're clear on how Edward got those injuries, let's talk about what happens now."

Winry made an aborted movement towards the door, her eyes wide with fear.

"I'm not going to hurt you, if that's what you're afraid of."

"What are you going to do?" She asked, voice small.

"We," he enunciated, "are going to have a little chat on how you'll be interacting with Ed from now on. And if at the end of our chat you don't think you can live with the rules, then you'd better distance yourself from him, as I won't be civilized about this if there is a next time. Do you understand me?"

"yes" she said meekly

"Have a seat," he gestured to the couch and armchair in the room. 

Thirty minutes later Roy is leaving the hotel, having had his heart to heart with Winry. It all came down to the fact that she's got anger issues and Ed is a safe outlet for violent tendencies. He'd never cut ties and has had a lifetime of learning how to take a beating. Roy feels sick. 

Wanting to cool off a bit before heading home, he took the long route, walking through the park and stopping for takeout at the Cretan place nearby that knows Ed likes.

 

Shouldering open the door with his food-laden bags and heading to the kitchen, Roy calls out a greeting "I'm home!"

"In here!", Ed calls out from their library.

Roy rounds the corner and sees Ed, gorgeous as always to him, sitting in a nest of papers and books, looking happy to see him. 

"Do I smell food? Did you bring back dinner?" Ed asks, disengaging himself from the mess on the floor and coming towards Roy.

Roy smirks at him. "Only you would be able to smell the Cretan takeout from across the house"

"I didn't know it was Cretan," he replies in all seriousness.

Roy reached a hand out to cup Edward's face, encouraging him closer. "How are you feeling, love?" He all but purrs at Edward.  
Ed shrugs. "Fine. I was fine before and I'm still fine."

"I talked to Winry" Roy confessed.

Ed let out a small sigh. "I figured you might."

"Are you mad?"

"Listen, it's... it's fine. I'm not mad. It wasn't really your place to get involved, and things with Winry aren't that bad. I REALLY don't want to talk about it. I want to eat Cretan takeout and then sit on the couch with you, ok? Let's just forget about it" He looked up at Roy, golden eyes pleading with him to drop it. Roy couldn't.

"Come on," Ed said. Roy pulled his hand away from Ed's face, Ed caught the hand in one of his own and pulled him to the kitchen.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Ed relaxed against Roy's side, the two of them on the couch in front of the fireplace, a record playing softly. Roy opened his mouth to speak. Ed sits up abruptly, wincing despite his efforts to hide the pain he's in. "Don't. You promised I wouldn't have to talk about it again and you talked to Winry. You ought to be satisfied with that. Let it be the end. Okay?" A pause, no response from Roy. "Okay?"

"Okay" Roy said, defeated. "Are you going into the lab tomorrow?"

Ed groaned. 

"If you're not, you might want to call Alphonse now. While he's still awake, so as not to be rude." Roy nudged Ed at the last part.

"He already knows I'm rude."

"Does that mean you're not calling your brother?"

Ed craned his neck to look at Roy in the eye. "What's with all the concern about my plans tomorrow? Nosy."

Roy smirked at that. Yes, he was nosy. Incredibly so when it came to his beau. 

"I was thinking that if you wanted to ditch Alphonse tomorrow I'll get out of some meetings and we could maybe sleep in, see a matinee, and have lunch out on that bluff you like so much."

"I'm gonna tell Al you said that."

"Which part?"

"Ditching him!"

Roy shrugged unapologetically. "Be my guest. I doubt he'll hold it against me."

"Yeah, let's do that. I like your plan." Ed thoughtfully replied after a moment. "Really think you can get away for a whole day?" 

"You? Edward Elric, are not taking issue with one of my plans? You must have a concussion."

"Shut up bastard." Ed playfully shoved Roy "You've had ideas in the past that I've liked."

Roy hummed in assent, kissing Ed on the head.

"Since we're not expected anywhere early tomorrow, I've got another idea I hope you're interested in." Roy moved his hand to run lightly up Ed's thigh. 

"Oh, yeah? The state of my face not putting you off?"

Roy squeezed Ed's thigh and murmured in his ear "Nothing could ever quell my desire for you"

Ed scoffs. "You say that like you mean it."

His hand ghosted up Ed's side to cup his cheek. "I do mean it. Surely after all this time you'd know that."

A blush crept across Ed's face. "I do know. I'm just, I don't know, feeling a little vulnerable or some shit today." 

"Understandable." A quick peck to his lips.  
"But you are safe" peck  
"very much loved" Another kiss.  
"And I'm hoping to get you into the bedroom soon" kiss  
"and make you forget about everything but pleasure for a little while." Kiss.

"Is that so?" Ed was leaning into the kisses now. Roy hummed his agreement. 

"Come on then, let's go. We both know that if we stay here much longer we won't make it to the bedroom. And I don't want to add carpet burns to my list of injuries today," Ed said with a coy look.


	3. 3

There was an unexpected knock at the door the next morning. The Elric/Mustang household didn't get many unanticipated visitors. Security forces keeping an eye on the Fuhrer's home prevented most of that.

"There's no way in hell I'm answering that. You better get the door," Ed remarked, not looking up from his book.

Roy got up without comment. Ed put his book down and followed him out of curiosity, staying around the corner and out of the sightline of whomever was at the door.

Ed wasn't planning on letting anyone see him until his head healed. It wouldn't look great to have the fuhrer's lover showing his beat up face in public. And even if Roy isn't bothered or ashamed and is unconcerned that he'd have to field the press about it Ed is.

He doesn't want to have to lie about his injury, he never was very good at that, but he sure as hell isn't going to let anyone think this is Roy's doing. Ed bristles at the thought that someone is going to think that Roy is responsible for his bruises if he is seen.

As the Fullmetal Alchemist he could and did sport all sorts of evidence of fights and no one questioned it, he'd lived a dangerous lifestyle, but that is in the past. He's a civilian now, living a peaceful life working on theoretical alchemy and occasionally testing his theories with Al. Even more important than that, he's the significant other of the leader of Amestris. As the head of the country Roy is always in the public's eye. And Ed will go to any lengths not to jeopardize Roy's career. So he waits around the corner for Roy to deal with whoever is at their door.

"Damn it," Roy curses as he looks through the peephole but opens the door anyways.

"What are you doing here," he demands with animosity in his voice. Ed correctly guessed who was there before he heard the response.

"Is Ed home?"

Roy folded his arms and scowled.

"I'd like to talk to him, to apologize, before I catch my train."

He considered her request and decided that Ed might not appreciate it if he slammed the door in her face like he wants to. "Wait here. I'll talk to Ed," he said gruffly.

He closed the door, leaving her to stand on the porch.

"Winry's here?" Ed asks, fully knowing it's his childhood friend at the door.

"Yeah," Roy says with a sigh, running his hand through his hair. "Do you want to talk to her? She says she wants to apologise before she leaves."

Ed stands up straighter. "Yeah? I'll talk to her.”

"It's up to you, Ed. I'll be nearby. Just call out if you want me to come in."

Ed nods and heads upstairs. Yelling over his shoulder about needing to get a shirt and that he'll be in the kitchen in a minute. The kitchen is best, Ed thinks. Winry's escalation yesterday has left him feeling jittery and the kitchen allows Roy to easily loiter in the hallway as he's sure to do while still giving them some privacy.

She's seated at the table when Ed comes in and sits as well, his expression guarded. He's not yet dressed for the day, hair unbraided and wearing his sweatpants and a shirt Winry is sure must be Roy's.

"Ed, I wanted to talk to you in person before I left"

He crosses his arms. "Okay. Talk."

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have gotten so mad. And I'm sorry you got hurt. But we both know it was an accident."

Ed doesn't reply, just purses his lips and waits for her to finish.

"And your, your boyfriend" She spits the word out, not willing to call Roy by name as she usually would. "He's got the wrong idea about me. About us. I think you should tell him the truth."

"Winry..." Ed warns.

"He's being overprotective and overbearing and it's clear that you haven't told him the whole story. He came to my room yesterday, Ed. To threaten me and fight your battle or something. And I think you need to tell him the truth. Because I am not 'abusive'." She made air quotes to accentuate her point. "Yesterday was an accident. And you goaded me into being angry anyways. So really, it's mostly NOT my fault. It's always you. Its always your fault. And you know it. You like to get a rise out of me, push me. And you need to tell him the truth. Because I am not at fault here, Ed."

Ed fidgets; looking very uncomfortable and staring at his hands, folded together in his lap. What she said clearly made him start to rethink things.

"Win, I-" he pauses, collecting his thoughts. "I know that-" A deep breath.

Putting palms down on his thighs, he looks her in the eye. "You know what? No, Winry."

Winry's face displays her shock that he didn't back down.

"No. I'm not going to lie to Roy anymore about this. Not to anyone. I shouldn't have let this go on for so long. I shouldn't have hidden it. I'm sorry. I can't do this. It can't be like this anymore."

Winry is livid.

Roy, eavesdropping from the hallway, has been tense since Ed entered the kitchen feels and feels that tension rise. He's waiting to see if he needs to intervene. He knows that Ed 'can' defend himself, but whether he will is another question. Roy isn't going to allow him to be hurt. Not when he can stop it.

Roy hears the scrape of a chair as Winry erupts from her seat. He chances a look around the corner and sees her towering over a seated Ed. She is screaming at him, hands on her hips. Roy just about rushed into the room but he saw the look in Ed's eyes. Not fear or resignation, but that angry fire that so often filled his eyes when he was first under Roy's command. So Roy waits.

“Winry. Winry, stop." Ed said calmly, holding his hands up to show he wasn't fighting.

“Stop this. Just...Win... please," Ed begged.

 She quieted, but didn't move back any.

 "Winry, I can't do this anymore. I can't. You've got to calm down."

 She was still seething. "Are you fucking kidding me!?" She yelled. "You can't blame me for this!"

 "I'm not blaming anyone," came Ed's quiet response, dejection creeping into his voice. "This is crazy. Please, just sit down."

 "How dare you act like I'm the crazy one!" She screeched as she balled her fist and prepared to take a swing at Ed.

Ed flinched, but was otherwise frozen in place.

Roy flew into action. "Enough!" He bellowed, catching Winry's arm and using his hold on her to shove her roughly back into her chair.

"Don't. Move. A. Muscle," he sneered, voice dripping with acid and face so close to hers their noses almost touched.

He released his hold on her arm and moved to drop to one knee in front of Ed, who's broken breathing and shaking hands belied his efforts to appear in control.

“Ed. Edward, are you ok?" Roy ran a hand through his lovers hair. Ed leaned into the touch and nodded.

 "M'fine," he rasped, looking Roy in the eye. "I'm ok."

 Roy nodded at him and stood, turning to address Winry, who now seemed to have lost her steam and was remembering the conversation they had at the hotel just yesterday. She had the presence of mind to sink as far into the wooden kitchen chair as was possible and not say anything.

" I want you out of our home," Roy growled at her. "I thought we had come to an understanding yesterday. Evidently I was mistaken," he continued, voice low and fighting to retain his control. "You will not contact Ed under any circumstances. Do not phone, do not write, do not show your face. If he wants to talk to you, he will get in touch. Tell me you understand what I am saying."

 Winry nodded, face pale.

 "Get out."

 She did, scurrying out the door as quickly as possible.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Roy made himself relax his intimidating posture and took a deep breath to try and calm himself.

 "Roy?" Ed called out gently and reached out a hand to touch him lightly, recognizing that the other man was still on edge and attempting to calm down.

 Roy turned slowly and enveloped Ed in a hug. "I'm sorry, Ed. I shouldn't have...but she was going to...I had no right to...I'm sorry," he rambled into Ed's shoulder.

 "Don't be." Ed wrapped his arms around Roy. "It's ok. It was...it was getting worse. Something had to happen."

 "You could have told me"

 Ed pulled back, arms resting on Roy's shoulders and gave a short huff. "Yeah, well, I've never been very good about letting someone else fight my battles. I shouldn't have let this happen. I thought I had it under control."

 "Edward. None of this is your fault. None of it," Roy said seriously.

Ed gave a half-hearted shrug and came in for another hug.

"This is not your fault," Roy repeated.

\- - - - - - - - - - -

That afternoon, Ed overhears Roy making a phone call. It's clear he's speaking to Riza, his head of security. He orders that Winry Rockbell is not allowed access to Ed until further notice and that he wants to be notified immediately if she is seen. He offers no explanation to Riza and Ed smiles to himself. As many years as he's avoided it, maybe being protected at times isn't so bad. Roy has been careful to leave him his freedom, has only interceeded when his well being is threatened. He feels safe in a way he hadn't felt in a long, long time. Maybe it's ok to let someone in, to let Roy in.

As Roy hangs up the phone Ed walks up to him, wrapping him in an embrace from behind. "I meant what I said," he murmurs into the older man's back.

Roy stood still, hand not yet moved from the telephone receiver. "What did you say, love?"

"That I wasn't going to hide it anymore." Still speaking into his lover's shoulder blades.

Roy joined his hands with Ed's, giving them a squeeze. "I'm glad."

Ed lifted his face from the shirt so he could speak more clearly. "But that doesn't mean I wanna talk it to death, ok? I know how you are, Roy. You like to look at shit from all angles, and you want to know everything, and I just want to let this be in the past, okay?"

Roy gave Ed's hand a reassuring squeeze. "Edward, you are the most important person in my life and I'd do anything to make you happy. Including dealing with this on your terms. I'll try not to pry if you'll try to talk to me when something is wrong. Deal?"

"Deal, asshole." The harsh words did not match the gentle loving tone with which they were delivered.

Ed turned the other man so they were face to face and sighed. "I gotta tell Al, don't I."

"Not necessarily." He rested his hands on Ed's shoulders. "You only have to share what you want with who you want."

"Yeah, alright, but I've gotta meet him tomorrow. He's gonna see me. And I'm tired of lying about it."

"Well, then, might I suggest that you meet your brother here, where you can have some privacy."

"Hmm. I'll call him later."

\- - - - - - - -

Ed's bruises fade, but not soon enough. Al was surprised, angry at Winry, feeling more than a little vengeful, and a little hurt that Ed didn't come to him years ago. After having that very uncomfortable conversation with Al, Ed feels like he's free. The two people who mean the most in this world to him know. They know, and they didn't blame him. They didn't say he deserved every whack, every bruise, every word. They didn't say he deserved to feel that he's worthless, that he deserves this, deserves worse as punishment for all he's done. Al and Roy listened, they cared, and there's no going back. He feels lighter and can only hope that he can hold onto this feeling. The feeling of others wanting him to be safe and feeling like maybe he's just a little bit worthy of that.

\- - - - - - -

When Roy gets home that evening, he can tell without laying eyes on him that Ed is feeling better. There is a mess of research notes leaking out from his study and the smell of something burning coming from the kitchen, accompanied by curses and a clattering. He takes off his shoes and coat, untucking and loosening his uniform as he goes to see what Ed is doing.

He smirks in the doorway, charmed by what he sees. It appears that Ed has tried his valiant best to create a romantic dinner. The table is set, including tablecloth and candles. Wine is chilling in the ice bucket Roy loves but Ed doesn't understand. Why have a whole fancy container just to occasionally fill with ice and set a bottle of alcohol in it? The actual dinner, however, seems to not have gone to plan. Roy can see a colander of clumpy pasta in the sink, pots that have boiled over, and his lover angrily scooping up and throwing burned scallops into the bin.

"What's the occasion?"

Ed looks up from his mess on the floor, just now realizing Roy was home. "Well, it was gonna be a nice dinner." He says with disdain. "But now I guess we'll just have to eat clumpy pasta with overdone sauce and get drunk on wine."

"I can work with that," Roy says with a wolfish grin.

They eat the salvaged dinner and talk about their days. Roy diplomatically asks how Alphonse is, knowing Ed would understand the underlying question of 'how did telling your brother that your childhood friend has been beating the crap out of you go?' but still leaving his lover the option of just giving him an update on Al if he wanted.

"He's mad." Ed shrugs. "But at Winry," he adds after a pause and then concentrates his gaze on the pasta he's pushing around on his plate.

Roy's heart constricts at the knowledge that Ed thought his brother might direct his ire at Ed himself.

"Edward, I know this is hard for you to reconcile this but you've done nothing wrong. You didn't deserve to be treated poorly."

Ed continues to concentrate on his pasta arrangement. "I know," he answers softly, clearly wishing to end this conversation.

"I love you, Ed. I love you and you don't need to feel guilty."

"Okay." Ed is still looking down and speaking softly.

Roy silently curses at himself. He brought it up, said too much, and now Ed is closing himself off.  
"I'm sorry, Edward," Roy says gently as he reaches his hand across the table in invitation. As a peace offering. Ed looks up, confusion evident in his features. "I was prying. I apologise."

Ed lays his hand in Roy's and meets the other man's eyes. "Why are you being so nice about this?"

Roy was taken aback. "Uhh-excuse me?"

"I lied to you. A lot. For years. And we promised when we first got together that we wouldn't lie to each other. I broke your trust. So why aren't you mad? Why are you acting like nothing has changed?"

Roys face fell. "Edward, love, nothing has changed." Ed huffs in disagreement and pulls his hand back to cross his arms in front of his chest.

"I'm serious, Ed. Nothing between us is any different. I'm still hopelessly in love with you and I'm not mad because I- well, I can't say understand, per se - but I-I get it. We both have our demons and I know that talking about yours doesn't come easily to you."

Ed scrunches his face up into a sour expression either in thought or as a reaction. Roy isn't sure which, but he knows that he'll never tire of seeing Ed abuse his features with those over the top expressions.

Roy leans forward in his chair slightly, locking eyes with the younger man. "Listen to me. You have done nothing wrong. You don't deserve any kind of punishment. You don't have to keep everything in. I'm here. Always and forever, remember? There isn't anything you could do to make me stop loving you, sweetheart. I trust you with my life and my heart. You haven't broken anything. I mean it, Edward."

Ed's bottom lip was quivering by the end of it and his eyes had filled with tears. He blinked, and the tears ran down his face. Roy moved to kneel in front of him and pull him into a hug. "Oh, Ed," he murmured, rubbing slow circles on his lover's back. "It's ok, it's ok."

The only thing Ed could reply with was a loud ragged sob, his body convulsing with the force of his crying.

"Shhhh. It's ok. Everything is going to be fine. I promise, love."

The sobs tore through him and he clung to Roy as if the man was the only thing keeping him upright until he was cried out and weak from the emotion of it. He sniffled and hiccuped through the last of them, trying to regain control.

"Take a deep breath," Roy coached him.

Ed took in a few stuttering breaths before he was able to speak. "Sorry," he mumbled.

Roy shook his head. "There's nothing to be sorry about." He extricated himself from the younger man's grip in order to look his lover in the face. "Are you ok?" He asked in all seriousness.

Ed looked away from him as he nodded. "I'm ok," he whispered.

Roy pulled him in for another hug. He'd never seen Ed have a reaction like that. It broke his heart that Ed had thought for even a second that he'd be mad, that he would feel differently about his lover, that maybe Ed even had thought he would end their relationship. Roy threaded his fingers in Ed's braid and tugged gently to encourage him to raise his head.

"I love you. Not just for now, but for forever."

"I don't think I deserve that," Ed replied, voice small and fragile sounding.

Roy frowned. "That's where you're wrong, my love."

He took a half step back to face Ed, hands fisted in the other man's shirtsleeves. "After Ishbal, after all I've done, it took a long time for me to realize that it doesn't matter what you think you're entitled to, what you deserve. No matter what I do I'll never be able to balance the scales for what I've done. I can never bring those people back. But that doesn't mean I can't find joy and love and happiness in life. It's not what I think I deserve, but it's what I've been given. And I'm so very thankful for that."

Ed sniffed and wiped his runny nose on the edge of his sleeve. He knew Roy had bad days and a ton of guilt and occasional nightmares. He'd spent too many nights holding his lover to keep the demons at bay or ushering the older man to bed after he'd tried once again to drown the memories to not know that. He didn't hold Roy's past against him. But he never considered that Roy must have struggled a lot to forgive himself even a little bit. To be able to accept that good things might happen to him, that it's ok to take a good thing and run with it. And he reminded himself once again that Roy understands.

"You've got to figure out a way to believe that you're worthy of love and respect. You've got to forgive yourself, Ed. You don't need to be miserable."

The blonde didn't react, just blinked forcefully a couple times as if to force back more tears.

"Ed?"

Ed rolled his shoulders, unseating Roy's grip on his sleeves and groaned. "Fuck, this sucks. God, I didn't want to deal with all this. I don't-I'll- I'll try, ok? I'll try. Just don't give up on me, Roy."

"Never." He leaned forward to give Ed a lingering kiss on the forehead.

\- - - - - - - - - - - -

Months later:

"It'll be good to see you too, old woman...Who are you calling so short he can't even reach the bottom shelf!?!.....Yeah, I know Winry will be there. It'll be fine. I'll deal with it...yeah, he's coming too, we're staying at the inn....Yep, security and all that crap...ha! I'll tell him...ok..see you soon."

"Tell me what?" Roy asks as soon as Ed has ended his phone call.

"Listening in on my calls now, bastard?" Ed replied without any bite to the words.

Roy just shrugged.

"Pinako said she's ready to beat you in another game of chess while we're visiting, if you're not afraid of losing."

"I think that woman cheats."

"You're just bitter because she constantly bests you."

Roy presses his lips in a thin line and he changes the subject. "Are you packed yet?"

"I'll do it in the morning. It really doesn't take that long."

"And you're sure you want us to go?"

"YES," Ed says emphatically "for the last time, it's been years since I've gone to the harvest festival, it'll be a great PR political hand shaking and baby kissing opportunity for you and it'll be nice to see Pinako and hang out with Al."

"That's not what I'm asking."

"I'm not worried about Winry. You'll be there, Al'll be there, and I'm not gonna let there be a problem."

Things might be tense, there's still a lot of healing that needs to happen, but it's going to be fine. Ed's got allies.


End file.
